19

That's me. The big one nine. Woo.

The question on everyone's mind is "what are you doing to celebrate?" What's my answer? Nothing. Does that bother me? No.

My birthday wish isn't comming true. I've come to terms with that.

Josh couldn't make it down today, Liz's pooch is dieing and he stayed to console her. Can't say I wouldn't have done the same in a similar situation.

While on my way to the Art Mart today I seriously considered getting a tattoo that says "hopeless romantic." Not gonna happen, can't afford it.

Why in the name of shit does he think it's "awkward?" Does he think I'm gonna try something? Does he know I already have and failed more than once? He has no reason to be offput by me. I'm by no means a physically intimidating person. And the odds of her leaving him for me are like...well non-existant most likely.

Currently on TV is a movie starring Dennis Leary and Kevin Spacey. Never seen it before, nor do I know it's name. I could easily turn it to TV Guide and look, but I won't. Becuase I honestly don't care that much.

I need to work on a project for Color Comp now. I will see everyone later.

Happy Birthday to me

Yep. 19. Will my birthday wish come true? Let's find out. Are the odds in my favor? Fuck no. But are they ever? HA! Rae and Jason may be hooking up, which makes me smile. At least someone can be lucky in love.

Feelings suck. Especially when you have them and then get to go sit for the most part alone. But anyway I'm gonna shut it and watch SNL now. Bye all.

Funny Joke

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife..."

Stolen Poetry

the best thing
that ever happened to me
was you


you held my hand. tight.
you gave me hope. warm
you showed me why i was living. you.
i was born to meet you. tell me...



can i have this kiss forever? i wonder.

Stolen from here. I like it, it appeals to the hopeless romantic in Jimmy. Bite me.

Ker-Nada

Talked with Meagan today in Color Comp. Deciding not to go for it. We have similar tastes in music, but that's about it. Oh well.

To a certain someone who should know who they are:

Ker-misses you (dramatic missing action)

Movies I Wanna See

Sin City
Kung Fu Hustle
Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior
The Fantastic Four

Damned Insomnia

Suddenly I am awake. VERY awake. Dammit.

I miss her.

Fucking insomnia.

And no one's online.

What's Done Is Done

MidKnight is now out of Dark Beginings. He now runs Dark Light.

I am Captain America.

I AM CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA!!!!!!!

I Do My Best Thinking At 3 AM

I have always believed this and may always believe it.

I'm pulling MidKnight out of Dark Awakenings. The group just isn't what it used to be. I'll mark all the necesary people as friends, but I'm gonna set up my own. And I will be highly selective with my membership.

"The standard amount of grieving time is one week for every six months of the relationship."
-Whatever that comedy movie is about the snowboarders trying to stop their slope from being turned into a commercial resort.

15/6 = 2.5

Wow. I'm over.

"You're a better person because of it." No I'm not. I'm just different because of it. For better or worse I'm not sure, all I know is that I am simply the sum of my life experiences made whole. Every thought, every feeling, every love, every heartbreak, every good time, every bad. All the joy, all the pain. I am that personified. Though I may choose the path I take it is the path that forms me and makes me who I am. When it is all over I would like to think the paths were kind to me.

Reader Poll (leave a note, anyone can do it now, be sure to sign it):
Love - Emotion or just a word?

Watch An Evening With Kevin Smith.

I asked Alex the other day what the point of anal sex was. I don't understand it. "It's about dominating, you know, being in control of the woman and being able to use her as you see fit. When you're in there you know you're in control." My rebuttle was "I dominate via orgasm. When she's gotten to the point where she can't walk across a room to get a glass of water, I know I dominated. I don't need to be dick deep in ass to feel like I've acomplished something. I enjoyed myself, and so did she (which is all I'm after) so it's all golden. Plus I'm sure the woman would rather things go my way then yours."

Those Chinese stress relief balls do nothing for me but create more stress as I try to figure out how the hell to use them right.

We still talk. No I don't think it's awkward, no it doesn't make me feel weird.

The word weird is, well, weird.

I have never attended a mass and yet I know as many prayers as the average Catholic my age.

Superman may be a dick, but Bizzaro is a pussy. Only some of you will get that.

17 minutes. I'm done.

People In Mississippi Do Not Like Homosexuals

Well, at least not this guy.

Listen to the whole thing. It's kind of long but I gurantee the end is worth it! This dud just fuckin' loses it! LoL, he said "turd burgler..." LoL.

Home

The ride with Kris wasn't too bad. Actually quite decent. He's a fairly cool fella. We talked. Joked. Had a good drive. Nothing more to report.

Going Home

Goin' back ta Fulton soon. Have to ride with Kris Keller. This should be an experience, I'll let you guys know how it turns out.

Suprising News

First: Mr. Brightside by The Killers is number one on MTV2's Rock Countdown. I love that song.

To the meat: I think I'm falling for someone. In typical James fashion. Fast and completely out of left field. To me, anyway. And of all people it's Megan Duniway. We talked about music and things in general today in Color Comp. I've always thought she was hot...but now I think I'm feeling a little something more than a "Hey she's hot" attraction.
I told Dianne. She said she already knew. To quote Dianne: "'She's not your average sorority girl.' James, Drawing 1, First Semester. I'm a girl. I know these things." She says I should go for it. We'll see...

Holy Fuck Me In The Eye Christ

Look at this.

Holy shit that's a funny.

The definition of a slam your dick in a door good time.

I Feel Like A Failure

Because of this. It's so simple yet still I have such a hard fucking time with it. The farthest I can get is back into the church after you revive the groom.


REVENGE!

Yea that part. Fucking game.

My desktop as it stands now. Yay MCR!

HA! Look at THAT!

You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already. In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth. Buddhism 79% Satanism 75% agnosticism 71% Hinduism 58% Judaism 54% Islam 54% Christianity 46% Paganism 46% atheism 21% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

Your Eyes

The guitar tabs for Your Eyes, from Rent.

Intro
   F/A               G/B               F/A               Asus2
e|----1-----1-------|---3-----3-------|---1-----1-------|-0--|
B|------1-----1---1-|-----3-----3---3-|-----1-----1---1-|-0--|
G|--------2-----2---|-------0-----0---|-------2-----2---|-2--|
D|------------------|-----------------|-----------------|-2--|
A|--0---------------|-2---------------|-0---------------|-0--|
E|------------------|-----------------|-----------------|----|

Verse
   F/A               G/B               C                 C/B
e|----1-----1-------|---3-----3-------|---------0-------|---------0--------|
B|------1-----1---1-|-----3-----3---3-|---1-------1---1-|---1-------1---1--|
G|--------2-----2---|-------0-----0---|-----0-------0---|-----0-------0----|
D|------------------|-----------------|-------2---------|-------2----------|
A|--0---------------|-2---------------|-3---------------|-2----------------|
E|------------------|-----------------|-----------------|------------------|

   Am                G                 Em                G
e|----------0-------|---------3-------|---------0-------|---------3--------|
B|----1-------1---1-|---0-------0---0-|---0-------0---0-|---0-------0---0--|
G|------0-------0---|-----0-------0---|-----0-------0---|-----0-------0----|
D|--------2---------|-------0---------|-------2---------|-------0----------|
A|--0---------------|-----------------|-----------------|------------------|
E|------------------|-3---------------|-0---------------|-3----------------|

   F/A               G/B               C                 C/B
e|----1-----1-------|---3-----3-------|---------0-------|---------0--------|
B|------1-----1---1-|-----3-----3---3-|---1-------1---1-|---1-------1---1--|
G|--------2-----2---|-------0-----0---|-----0-------0---|-----0-------0----|
D|------------------|-----------------|-------2---------|-------2----------|
A|--0---------------|-2---------------|-3---------------|-2----------------|
E|------------------|-----------------|-----------------|------------------|

   Am                G                 C                
e|----------0-------|---------3-------|---------0-------|---------0--------|
B|----1-------1---1-|---0-------0---0-|---1-------1---1-|---1-------1---1--|
G|------0-------0---|-----0-------0---|-----0-------0---|-----0-------0----|
D|--------2---------|-------0---------|-------2---------|-------2----------|
A|--0---------------|-----------------|-3---------------|-3----------------|
E|------------------|-3---------------|-----------------|------------------|

Bridge

   Bbsus4                              Csus4
e|----------1-------|---------1-------|---------3-------|---------3--------|
B|----1-------1---3-|---1-------1---3-|---3-------3---3-|---3-------3---3--|
G|------3-------3---|-----3-------3---|-----5-------5---|-----5-------5----|
D|--------3---------|-------3---------|-------5---------|-------5----------|
A|--1---------------|-1---------------|-3---------------|-3----------------|
E|------------------|-----------------|-----------------|------------------|

   Bbsus4                              Am         Fmaj7  G         Em7
e|----------1-------|---------1-------|-----------------|------------------|
B|----1-------1---3-|---1-------1---3-|---1-----------1-|------------------|
G|------3-------3---|-----3-------3---|-----2-------2---|---0--------------|
D|--------3---------|-------3---------|-------2---------|-----0---------2--|
A|--1---------------|-1---------------|-0---------------|-------2-----2----|
E|------------------|-----------------|-----------------|-3---------0------|

   Am         Fmaj7  G
e|------------------|---------3-------|---------3-------|
B|----1-----------1-|---0-------0---0-|---0-------0---0-|
G|------2-------2---|-----0-------0---|-----0-------0---|
D|--------2---------|-------0---------|-------0---------|
A|--0---------------|-----------------|-----------------|
E|------------------|-3---------------|-3---------------|

Verse
   F/A               G/B               C                 C/B
e|----1-----1-------|---3-----3-------|---------0-------|---------0--------|
B|------1-----1---1-|-----3-----3---3-|---1-------1---1-|---1-------1---1--|
G|--------2-----2---|-------0-----0---|-----0-------0---|-----0-------0----|
D|------------------|-----------------|-------2---------|-------2----------|
A|--0---------------|-2---------------|-3---------------|-2----------------|
E|------------------|-----------------|-----------------|------------------|

   Am                G                 Bb                
e|----------0-------|---------3-------|-----------------|------------------|
B|----1-------1---1-|---0-------0---0-|---------6-----6-|---------6-----6--|
G|------0-------0---|-----0-------0---|---7-------7-----|---7-------7------|
D|--------2---------|-------0---------|-----8-------8---|-----8-------8----|
A|--0---------------|-----------------|-------8---------|-------8----------|
E|------------------|-3---------------|-6---------------|-6----------------|

Solo (From \"Musetta\'s Waltz\" goes here)

The Weather This Morning Reflects My Emotion

I woke up this morning at 8 to go turn in cube. It was raining. It was cold. I fit right in.

I Am... (pt 2)

Attracted.

Unattractive.

Emo.

Not.

Cultured.

Ignorant.

An anomoly.

Just Like everyone else.

Lost in thought.

Done for now.

Something That Must Be Said

Before I leave to finish that damned cube I must write this.

I got the impression this weekend that a certain someone is upset with me. I won't say their name, but I think they know who they are and I think I know why they are upset.

It's about Lisa and I. They think I just layed down and gave up. That I'm denying my feelings and doing nothing but hurting myself.

Let me say something first off. I still love Lisa Curtis. I am still IN love with Lisa Curtis. Nothing, NOTHING in the whole world would make me happier than to be back together with her. Every night that is my last thought and every morn it is my first. But I can't make her love me. She has said several times not to write out the future, becuase who knows what's down the road. As said as it seems, I am holding on to that. If this is true love, like I think it to be, then we will get back together. If not, then we won't.

I did not lay idly by as Lisa moved on. You can ask her. On several occasions I pleaded my case. But it did no good. I HAVE to deny my feelings for her, now, becuase to act upon them would be ludicris. She feels for another. In our relationship all I wanted was for her to be happy. Even now all I want is for her to be happy, and her current does that for her. I just hope that one day I can do it again. But please, don't think less of me because I stopped fighting. I didn't give up, I just know that one has to choose his battle wisely or else victory is a dream. And so I bide my time. I haven't given up, but I have taken a break. The troops of my heart need some time to recoop. Think about that, would you, and please understand why I act the way I do.

To that someone who knows who they are.

Back In The Saddle Again

And by that I of course mean back in Cape. My dad brought me down, we arrived around 11:30. I then went to work on that damned cube for Schock. Dianne and I worked in the lobby of her floor, just got finished. And by finished I mean done cutting. Later today I have to spray paint and glue. Poor Dianne is real broken up about Yuki not being around, she's kinda lost without him. I can understand her, I kinda know what she is going through.

I am a blog addict. DFord and I were talking and somehow got on the subject of me blog and how I blog about EVERYTHING. I told him he was right, as of late I have found myself with an abundance of free time so I post in this when I get bored. At this point I informed him that I can now play guitar and type at the same time and do both well enough to suprise myself sometimes. That's when it hit me that I'm addicted. Anyway, I'm really tired now so I'm gonna crash. Hasta.

Lyrics To Numa Numa Iei

For those that don't know, Numa Numa Iei is a German (I think) techno song by the group O-Zone which has gathered unimaginable popularity thanks to the Numa Numa Dance.
Here are the lyrics to said song, in English and German (I think).


Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.


__________________________________________________


Which of course in English means...

ma-ia's are just sounds

Hello [on a cellphone], greetings, it's me, an outlaw,
I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,
I sent you a beep [cellphone signal], and I'm brave [or strong],
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.
You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.
You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.
I call you [over the phone], to tell you what I feel right now,
Hello, my love, it's me, your happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,
I sent you a beep [cellphone signal] and I'm brave [or strong],
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.
You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.
You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.

The Mi-ai's again are only sounds

You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.
You want to leave but you don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want to take me, don't want don't want don't want to take me.
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.



This was taken from a post on eBaum's World Forum by Stewie.

The Big Kids Table

Went to the cast party. Actually had a decent time. Hung out with the "big kids," ie. DFord, Jason, and Shawn Fennewald. Shawn does not care for Lisa, LoL. Not that he doesn't like her, he just thinks she doesn't like him and is a bitch to him. We had a band, we called it The Afterparty. It consisted of Specs on his new guitar, myself on Barry's (Steven's, wtf ever) bass, and Shawn singing. Well, screaming. All in all it was enjoyable. I was there until about 3:30, when all of us big kids left. Before we left DFord, Jason, Shawn and I sat in the pool room for had to be close to 2 hours regaling the people around us with stories of our high school days. God I feel so old.


On another note, when I finally think I'm over it I wake up.

A Funny Link

Star Ward Parody

Blood Red Summer

by Coheed & Cambria

Faint white figures paint my sleep
please don't tell my secrets keep them hidden (you got it, you got it, you got it)
if the words that matter reach your face from floor
will you be wondering if, or (do I need what is given or honest)
does it cost me scarring if the words stay true
even number your nephew (I don't want it, don't want it, don't want it anymore)

[Chorus:]
and when the answer that you want
is in the question that you state
come what may
come what may
[x2]

in a pain that buckles out your knees
could you stop this if I plead (you got it, you got it, you got it)
so destined I am to walk among the dark
a child in keeping secrets from (will they know what I've done in the after)
in the sought for matter when the words blame you
in a blood red summer I'll give you (I don't want it, don't want it, don't want it)

[Chorus]

what did I do to deserve
what did I do to deserve
this? this?
[x2]

[ad libs]
wa oh wa ooooh
wa oh oh oh woah

what did I do to deserve
what did I do to deserve
this? this?
[x3]

what did I do to deserve
what did I do

Radio

by Alkaline Trio


Shaking like a dog shittin' razorblades,
waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
while you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm making my plans for revenge
Red eyes on orange horizons
If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge
I'd drive straight off the edge

Taking your own life with boredom,
I'm taking my own life with wine -
it helps you to rule out the sorrow,
it helps me to empty my mind
Making the most of a bad time
I'm smoking the brains from my head
Leaving the coal calling the kettle black and orange and red
This kettle is seeing red

I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall

Shaking like a dog shittin' razorblades,
waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
while you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm planning out my revenge
Red eyes on orange horizons
If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge
I'm seeing red

I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall

Plugged in and ready to fall
Plugged in and ready to fall

Plugged in and ready to fall


I can play AND sing that now. I impress me sometimes.

Cake or Death?

"You! Cake or death?"
"Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry..."
"You said death first, uh-uh, death first!"
"Well, I meant cake!"
"Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England!"

Sorry, couldn't resist the Eddie Izzard quote.

Things I Think About When I Wake Up Alone

I would give anything to have her back. Anything. I don't want anyone else. Tonight at the Heffner's is going to be hard for me, it's where I mark the begining of Lisa and I's relationship. And to see her there with another guy is going to be hard. I wish we were still together. That hollow feeling in my chest hasn't shown any signs of going away.

Woah

I just woke up from a dream...I've never had a "cold sweat" before but I definately had one after waking up from this. I don't even remember what it was about...just that it included Lisa and Fister...hmm...

Wise Words

"You are never the same person you where the night before."

-Jimmy

I talked with Mrs. Curtis a lot tonite. She asked how she was supposed to treat me, was I a handshake or could she still hug me..? I told her to treat me just like any other one of the kids. So she hugged me. Made me feel good. I love that damn family, lol. No other family besides mine has ever made me feel so welcome.
What I said got me to thinking, though. Do I really want to just be treated like another one of the kids. Yes. I do. That's all I want. I don't want to be treated like an ex-boyfriend. I just want to be treated like a friend. Because that's what I am. I'm not forgetting what we had. But I don't want her to treat me any different. We were always friends. Just treat me like you did then. And that goes for everyone. I've never been a big fan of special treatment, unless I'm in a relationship. But I'm not right now. So just let me be one of the guys.


That makes far less sense than I meant it to. That's what I get for typing tired. LoL.

Yay for the theatre kids

They make me feel so good. Tomo night is the cast party. I will be there. So will my guitar (which I have to rename by the way, any suggestions?). So will Clayton and his guitar. So will Barry and his bass. We will right a song. Yup.

I Might Be Getting A New Guitar

For my birthday. An Epiphone acoustic/electric. $499 I think. Nice guitar.

Anatomy of a Lawsuit

Underworld is released.

Underworld creators: Yay! Money!

White Wolf Publishers: Hey....wait a second...that movie plays out just like our game...

UC: So?

WWP: We're fucking sueing you! We need the scratch, homies, prepare to have your shit sued off!

Ann Rice: (taps WWP on the shoulder) Excuse me, remember me, boys?

WWP: Oh shit, Ann Rice...

AR: That's right, bitches! You're not going to sue these people, or else I'm going to sue the fuck outsa you and take all the profits I gain and make an Underworld 2!

WWP: Damn...

UC and AR: Suck it, bitches!


And that's how St. Patty's Day was started.


Not really, but in a nutshell that's how the Underworld/White Wolf lawsuit played out.

Learned Another Song

Radio by Alkaline Trio. Pretty simple. Got the guitar part down...working on singing along. It's getting there.

Tonight

Tonight is opening night of Arsenic and Old Lace. I was called at 6 by Jeremy to come do a cristening ceremony, they needed new Tape of the Duck. I hopped in the car and drove as fast as I could to do the ceremony. That was the largest cristening I have ever seen. There had to be at least 16 people in on it. The thing that makes it that much more special to me is that even with all those people they needed ME.
Only one other person has ever made me feel as needed as the Fulton theatre kids. But she doesn't need me anymore. It was nice to go into the theatre and know I was needed. That I had a purpose. It made me feel awesome. I miss these kids.
Break a leg, all.
Jimmy out.

-El DiEgO

Urban Boy Scout Jimmy

My lighter fell out of my pocket the other night. Mom asked why I had one. "Becuase drunk people can't light their own cigarettes" I answered. I got to thinking, and I tend to carry a lot of unusual things in my pockets. A lighter (I don't smoke), a straight razor, a pencil sharpener, and I always have at least one pencil, one eraser, and one double-tipped marker of some variety (Sharpie or Prismacolor) in ther, too. I'm like an urban boy sout, always prepared. But not for the wilderness, oh no. For the rigors of college living. LoL.

Something I Must Post About

I was just hitting the "next blog" button to look at random blogs and came across mine. That's the first time I have ever come across the blog of anyone I know. Interesting.

I Am...

I am...

A son.

A grandson.

A brother.

A cousin.

A nephew.

An Artist.

Artistically challenged.

A guitar player.

A hopeless romantic.

In love.

Unloved.

A gamer.

A goth.

A poet.

Post-modern.

A social comedian.

Alone.

Surrounded.

Lost in thought.

Lost.

James.

Jimmy.

Bud.

Diego.

Jackrabbit.

Here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There may be more of that to come later.

An Interesting Quote

From the Francis Ford Copola version of Brsm Stoker..."I feel as though I am to play a part in a story I do not know." I don't think that's in the book. Makes you think though. Isn't that just life in general? We all play a part in a story completely unknown to us all...the story of life. All we know is our part and how we are to play it.

Another interesting quote that hit me just before I fell asleep is "An emo kid is nothing more than a hopeless romantic with no one to love." Don't know where I got that one...so if you feel the desire to quote it go ahead and say I said it. Jimmy out.

-El DiEgO

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Yay for being Irish. I tried to put a post up last nite but the stupid iternet here went down. So first things first, here is that post.

Movietime is Bulletproof Monk. Nothing to be impressed by. Pretty lame, actually. I need to start on my cube for art. I have sketches and a plan, but that's about it.
Ok suddenly the bad guy in BM has magical powers. WTF? Also he looks a lot like the Duke from Moulin Rouge. Is that how you spell it? I dunno. But that's an awesome movie. Bas Lerman is an awesome director. Is that how you spell his name? I dunno. Phoenetically it's correct, but grammar wise I dunno. I suck at that.
I suck at a lot of things. Seriously, I hardcore don't fit into my generation. And now my computer has randomly lost the connection to the wireless network in my house, so it might be a while before this actually gets posted. I have a couple of characters on CoH that I want to put in a supergroup for a comic now. MidKnight, of course (barring Lisa's permission, he's her intellectual property, afterall), Asmod, Nether-bubble (barring a name change), and now there is Jackrabbit James, a man able to take nearly any form of punishment available. He's the first Tanker I've run, an invincible/ super strong guy. Fights with his fists. I have him taking out enemies twice his level with no problem. It's a good time.
Hm...it seems I bumped the switch that controls whether or not my network connector searches. Fixed that, back online.

Well it looks as though I'm not going to Rolla, today. Seeing as how I don't have any other plans I guess I will work the concession stand at the show tonite, assuming they will have me.

Sudden ADD: This comedian is on TV and just told this awesome joke. Here goes. "My sister married a German dude. Not the most efficient way to get back at them, I know, but she's doing her part. I like him, he's a nice guy, a little square but OK. We were in a bakery in New York one day and he looks at me and goes 'You know I can't get a decent bagel in Germany.' and I said 'Well who's fault it that?'"

Tomo my mom is taking off work so we can spend the day together. What are we going to do? Hell if I know. She made some mention of going to Como. We'll see. I guess thata's all for now. Jimmy out.

-El DiEgO

Movie Suggestions

You scored as Mindfuck. Congratulations, you scored Mindfuck. You've probably seen a lot of movies, and have grown to hate mainstream shit. You're looking for the movie that will leave you breathless, and with 21 questions to think about. Check out: Donnie Darko, Being John Malkovich, Pulp Fiction, Memento. Mindfuck 85% Sci-Fi/Fantasy 80% Sadistic Humour 80% Artistic 60% Drama/Suspense 45% Mindless Action Flick 40% Romantic Comedy 25% Movie Recommendation. created with QuizFarm.com

Well It Looks As Though I'm Not Going To The Concert

I am without a way to get to Como. Also I have no one to go with. I don't know if you've ever been to a concert by yourself before...but it's not quite the same. It also looks like I wont be able to go to Rolla tomo, once again no ride. So I'll be stuck at home this St. Patty's Day. Ah well. I guess I'll work concesion for the show that night, too. Be of some help. Next week I think my mutter is planning some kind of suprise birthday party for me or something along those lines. What do I want? A video camera, an electric/acoustic switch guitar (I take less to school that way), and one other thing. What's that? I shalln't tell, but it will be my birthday wish. If it comes true I will let all of you know.
I've had the opportunity to play a couple of acoustic/electrics lately; my roommates Josh and Claytons. I want one of my own now, like I have since I was a junior and Walter and I planned on doing sidewalk shows in downtown Como.
I miss...a lot of things as of late.

Things I Think About In The Shower

I don't hate emo. I don't hate Dashboard. I hate the fact that nine times out of ten if I turn on an alternative radio station an emo song will be playing. I like at least something from every musical styling known to man. Even Dashboard. I'm actually quite impressed with the musical ability that's going on there, I just got burned out by it that first summer when it was on MTV2 every fifteen minutes for three months. They're good, but no one is that good.
I'm not an emo kid. I'm not a metal head. I'm not anything. I'm just me. I don't like to peg myself to any one kind of style. I like to think I'm too open minded for that. Maybe I'm not, but that's just me.
I don't hate anyone. Or anything for that matter. There are things that rub me the wrong way, definately, but I don't hate.
I am a hopeless romantic. Can't help it. I fall in love quickly, but falling out can take ages. That's just the way shit works.
I still wear makeup once in a while. Why? Because I wanna dammit. I'm not a drag queen, I do it for my own personal reasons. Why do women wear makeup? Because they wanna dammit.
I have my own personal religious beliefs. I'm polytheistic. That's just the way I am. I don't go to church and probably won't except for my marriage and if the wife wants to. I'm laid back enough that I can do that. I'm not a Satanist, and I'm not the progeny of the Devil. I don't push my beliefs on others for the simple fact that I know they don't care.
Sammie thinks a lot more clearly than she gives herself credit for. She can be a good source of advice. I rediscovered this fact last nite.
I think that's all I thought about in the shower today...so....Jimmy out.

-El DiEgO

I Can't

I can't say

Been there smoked that

And I can't say

Been there drank that

But one thing that I can say that most can't

Is that

I've been there and remember that!

Heh. I just wrote that. On the way to the kitchen. Makes me chuckle a bit. MC Hammer is on SNL on E! right now. Not as a musical guest, however...as the host! Seriously! This should be some good shit.

Ker-Nastalgia

I've been really nastalgic lately. Thinking about the old days. Kathy Street. DnD. Been talking to Sammie a lot lately. She seems to have chilled out a bit. Good stuff. We still seem to be very good friends. Clayton did something that almost made me cry today.
I was backstage after rehearsal, waiting for Jeremy to get ready to go. Clayton comes walking up with his arms outstretched and goes "Give me a hug man. I miss you. I wish you were still aroud more. Stuff is just different when you're around. Better. I miss it."
Made me feel really good. I still remember when he used to live next door to me...that was like 10 years ago.
Today was so far the highlight of my break. There was the aforementioned goodness, also I went to the band comp and many people made sure to hug me or shake my hand and tell me they missed me. Made me feel wanted. Not something I feel very often.
To top all that off I won a radio contest today. Nothing fancy. I was listening to 94.9 the Brain on the way home from picking up Jer. It was the Super Zummy Super Show and the DJ was holding a contest to win a CD copy of the music on todays show. Todays show was all Super Mario Bros. Techno. The contest? Super Mario Trivia. One question, first caller in with the right answer wins. The question was how many coins does it take to get an extra life in SMB? The answer is of course 100 coins. I was the first caller, calling a whole 15 seconds after he announced the stations phone number. Because I kick that much ass. Jimmy out.

-El DiEgO

Today

Today I had a dentists appointment. So did Jer. I got to be chauffer. Big fun. I was told that even though I have no cavitites I need to drink less soda becuase it is hurting my gums. I politely replied that the nurse who was pushing all of her weight onto a piece of floss in my mouth was the one hurting my gums. They didn't find that quite so humorous. Listening to the radio on the way there I heard pretty much the same kind of music on all stations. Stuff based on love. About being in love. About being out of love. About any number of things love related. I have the following song on my computer, done acoustic by the band. It's Blink 182 and the song is What Went Wrong. Hearing the songs on the radio today made me think of it. Among other things and people.

I'm sick of always hearing
all those sad songs on the radio
all day it is there to remind
an over sensitive guy that he's lost and alone, yeah

I hate our favorite restaurant,
our favorite movie, our favorite show
we would stay up all through the night
we would laugh and get high, and never answer the phone

I can't forgive, can't forget
can't give in, what went wrong?
cause you said this was right
you fucked up my life

I'm sick of always hearing
sappy love songs on the radio
this place, it's fucking cursed and it's plagued
and I can never escape when my heart it explodes

I can't forgive, can't forget
can't give in, what went wrong?
cause you said this was right
you fucked up my life

I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me
what went wrong?
I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me
what went wrong?
I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me
what went wrong?
I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me
what went wrong?
I'm kicking

Yay for acoustic covers. I think I may learn this. Im currently in the process of finding tabs for some acoustic Sum 41 I have found. Still no luck on finding a copy of Pieces acoustic, however.

Good Charolette

I'm gonna get shit for this, but eat me. I like 'em. Always have. Really, I think they got the pop-punk-poser moniker shoved onto them unfairly. They try to be harder, really they do, but no one let's them. I have had the pleasure of seeing them in concert, not something many of their anti-supporters can claim, and their actions on the stage do not denote them as being people deserving of their reputation. Much like, for instance Alkaline Trio is in it for the music. I'm by no means saying that GC is anywhere near AT in m rankings, but they try. Really they do. I hate to think that something like what has happened to GC could happen to Kill Whitey. That's some bullshit. Jimmy out.

-El DiEgO

I Might Be Getting A Kia

So damn bored. Hate Fulton. Hate Mondays. Hate Fulton more. Almost wish I had to go back to school early so I would have something to do. Bah. No one would want me to come back early. LoL. So bored. Love acoustic rock. Love Tom Petty. Love her. Love Him, while I'm on the subject of pronouns. Not many people have heard Him, I suggest downloading some. That's just me, though. Em C G D and eventually Bm. Those are the chords for Pieces. That's the first song I've memorized the names of the chords for. Those are the first chords I have memorized. How long have I been playing guitar and I am just now learning chord names? LoL. I'm a sad case. CSI is on. Not particularly riveting at the moment. Neither is this anymore.

A Movie That Suprised Me

Secondhand Lions is a good movie. I watched it today for the first time, enjoyed it thouroughly. Everyone watch it.
I might be going to see a concert wednesday. Decibully, The Snake The Crown and The Cross, Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin, and Saving Kid Icarus at Mojos for $6. Specks says TSTCTS and SSLYBY and really good, and 4 bands for $6 is a pretty good deal. We'll see.

Tabs for an acoustic version of Pieces by Sum 41

Em   C
I tried to be perfect
    G    
But nothing was worth it
          D      Em
I don’t believe it makes me real
                 C
I thought it’d be easy
  G
But no one believes me
       D       C
I meant all the things that I said

         C   G
If you believe it’s in my soul
       D      C
I’d say all the words that I know
       C               G
Just to see if it would show
        D     C  
That I’m trying to let you know
  Em  
That I’m better off on my own


Guitar solo:
Em C G D


Em      C  
This place is so empty
                  G
My thoughts are so tempting
 D  Em
I don’t know how it got so bad
      C
Sometimes it’s so crazy
     G
That nothing can save me
 D       C
But it’s the only thing that I have


         C   G
If you believe it’s in my soul
       D      C
I’d say all the words that I know
       C               G
Just to see if it would show
        D     C  
That I’m trying to let you know
  G  
That I’m better off on my own


Guitar Solo:
G D Em C (x2)
(On my own!)
Em C G D (x2)
Bm..............


Em   C
I tried to be perfect
    G
It just wasn’t worth it
   D          Em
Nothing could ever be so wrong
    C
It’s hard to believe me
   G
It never gets easy
          D             C
I guess I knew that all along


         C   G
If you believe it’s in my soul
       D      C
I’d say all the words that I know
       C               G
Just to see if it would show
        D     C  
That I’m trying to let you know
  G  
That I’m better off on my own


If anyone has a copy of this song on acoustic for the love of god send it to me at
jamesbratten@gmail.com so I can here how they strum this. I think I have an idea...but who knows.

Yay for The Outlaw Josey Wales

Yup. Yay. For him that is. I should prolly get some lunch soon. And then do the shower thing. I awoke at 8 this morning to skate, but realized that since I am a social skater, being up at the asscrack when no one would be out at the skatepark was a dumb idea. So I laid around the house for a while. I don't so much enjoy skating as I enjoy skating with friends. It's a great chance to people watch, which is something I enjoy doing very much.

Is It Weird?

Is it weird that I'm not pissed? I was talking to Lisa last night and she made a comment about how the way I'm taking the her and Fister this is far different from the norm. While I know it probably is, I don't understand why. I did what I could. I tried to win her back. Hell, I did everything short of standing outside her window with a boom box ala Jon Cusack in Say Anything. But it didn't work. In the end all I want is for her to be happy.
Do I still love her. Of course. Then how can I just sit by like this? Well, I don't have many options. I'm not what she's looking for right now. And if it comes to me not being what she's looking for anymore, period, well that's what it comes to and I'm working on being prepared to accept that.
But I'm not going to be pissed. Not at Lisa. Not at Fister. There's no reason. All being pissy is going to do is ruin any future chances I have. That and it will ruin my friendship with Lisa, which I cherish more than anything right now. Having someone at school I can talk with is really all that's keeping me sane.
By sane I of course mean not crazy enough to be commited.

A Thought

I really should save some of my MSN convos, once in a while there are some pretty interesting exchanges between my friends and I.

My Favorite Kind of Music

According to Sharlyn my music is music you can hurt a person to. You know the only thing I like more than that? Acoustic versions of songs you can hurt a person to. Oh, yes.

Fulton Munches

Wet skating this morning, it was too damn cold to stay out for long. Rachel showed up and we went to Taco Bell and then hung out here for a while.
I hope it gets warmer this week, I really want to do a nice all day skate thing. I'm so bored. The worst part is that there is no one to keep me company for the majority of the time I'm on break. Oh well.
I suggest going to Newgrounds and looking at some of the stuff on their front page. Namely: Numa Numa Dance (for those who haven't seen it yet) and Bunnykill 2. Good shit.
A roast is for dinner tonite.
Most porn sucks.
That was not a double entendrae (sp?).
I'm watching Class of 1999 Part II. Terrible movie. But there's nothing else on. It has the guy that played Cody on Step By Step in it. Did you guys know he's a kickboxing champ? Yep, he's a royal badass.
So is this guy.
This kid, too.

Be Cool

Everyone go see this movie. Seriously. This is the funniest goddamn thing I have seen in ages. It slayed Jordy and I. Vince Vaughn and The Rock delivered quite possibly the best performances of their career and really almost made me forget that John Travolta and Uma Thurman were even in the movie. And Cedric the Entertainer...Oh My God. Just go see it. Unbelievable.

Something I realized tonight...I have never seen the entirety of Bram Stoker's Dracula as directed by Francis Ford Copola. I always come in at the end, which by the way is different from the book by a LONG shot.

Anyways, I'm waking up at the ass crack tomo to skate, so I will retire and talk to you all later. G'nite.

Which Trainspotting Character Am I?

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?

OK, clarification time

The purpose of the last post was NOT to make Lisa feel bad. I'm sorry that it did, I just needed to say some things. OK, that's all.

Lisa Probably Shouldn't Read This

She's not a big fan of me rehashing stuff, but I feel as though this must be done.

Everything still reminds me of her. Everything. All around me. I can't escape it. My room, here in my house, reminds me of all the times we slept together. Not made love (can I still call it that), just slept. Holding each other, drifting off to a peaceful sleep dreaming of one another. The living room upstairs reminds me of meals we shared, times she spent with me and my family, wayching TV, talking, having an awesome time. The basement, god there are too many things there to even begin to list. The high school brings back all those times we went to visit teachers, hell I think even the skatepark is going to bring up some stuff when I finally get there. Those times she watched me skate, the time Barry busted his shit. LoL. Ah, man.

Last nite on the way home she fell asleep, and in her sleep she reached over and took my hand... I didn't know how to react so I just waited. Eventually she shifted weight and it slipped away. I wish I knew what it was she was dreaming of. Probably Fister. I think he called her while we were on the road. She never said who it was aloud, but the mannerisms made me think it was him. Not that I should be suprised. They are dating after all.

Apparently I'm going to the Lake of the Ozarks today, so I guess I'll get in the shower. I will talk to everyone at some point in time or another.

I seem to remember having more to say than this. Oh well.

Question

How did ANYONE ever find Eddy Vedder attractive. I don't know if that's how you spell his name, but I don't care. For those that don't know, Vedder was the vocalist for Pearl Jam. Great musician, ugly muthafucka.

From the people that brough you the hella-entertaining Emo Game...

I give to you...

The Bush Game!

Fun shit, also educational. I suggest giving it a shot.

Something That I Have Noticed...

Everytime I come home I come home to an empty house. Well, at least the last couple of times barring the trip to Springfield.

Querey

If a person lives to make the people around him/her happy but those people leave or s/he fails to do his/her job does that person just disappear?

Trivia

What type of gun did James Bond originally use, and what does he use now?

Answer: In Dr. No the head of M16 told Bond to turn in his Barretta (original gun) and upgrade to a superior weapon. He has used a Walther PPK ever since.

Don't Take This The Wrong Way, I'm By No Means Suicidal...

But there have been times where I've walked in my room and looked out my window and seriously thought to myself "pfft, I could make it..."

All You Perverts Will Get A Kick Out Of This

Take the test!

Comments

The last time a comment was made to this blog near the tiny little "comments" button under each post was February 24th. Wow. So, uh, no one reads this bad boy, do they. That kinda sux.

Ballad 1

So far everyone that has heard Ballad 1 says they like it. Whether or not they actually do is open to interpretation, but whatever. Sammie asked if I had lyrics, so I guess it's time Rae and I worked on some. Umm...suddenly lost my train of thought...Jimmy out.

Finally

Finally some shit goes my way. I exported what I have done of Ballad 1 into a MIDI file, so if anyone wants to hear it let me know and I will send it to you. Just leave your email in the comments section.

I have transcribed two guitars and a bass part for Ballad 1

They are currently on guitar pro 4, i can listen to it play and hear all three parts. Makes me feel good. If I can ever get it to export into a .wav file correctly I will send it out so everyone can hear it.

I Have Fans

I was down in the lobby doin' my thing when I noticed several people listening. Nothing new. Then they came to talk to me. Also nothing new. What was new was the fact that they sat and listened intently for nearly 45 minutes. They asked how long I had been playing, made requests, and then thanked me when I got ready to leave. Apparently one or two of them recognize me from my earlier "gigs" in the lobby and were pleased to hear me again. They asked if I had a band and I told them about Rae's and my idea for Kill Whitey, without revealing the name. They seemed intersted and told me I should put out a CD. Made me feel good. I guess I have a fan base now. LoL. Take that, Mollie, I remember you saying a band thing wouldn't work for me.

A Good Night

Went to the UC, got a chair massage, a mycoplastic (?) massage, and an aura cleansing. Damn good time. Haven't been this relaxed in a LONG time. Came back, picked up my guitar, and played through the entirety of Coheed and Cambria's Blood Red Summer. Well, the rhythm guitar part, anyway. I can play all of the rhythm and sing along as I play. This is a first for me.

Jin

For those of you who don't know, Jin is a Chinese-American rap sensation. I first saw him as I was passing BET, doing a rap battle. Quickly got hooked on him, his work is in-freakin'-credible. I suggest you all download some. I saw a link on WTF People that said it had all his battle videos from BET for download, so if it's legit I will post it.

Now I Know

Now I know a slight bit of what my father feels. But at least Lisa and I are still friends, can't say that about my parents. LoL

Good News For Lisa

Terrible news for me. I'm so heartbroken that I feel like I'm going to vomit. It's terrible. I can feel the tears right now...sitting behind my eyes. I'm fighting them. The tears won't do anything, and they sure as hell won't make me feel any better. I just wish I knew were things between us had gone awry.

But anyway, I truly do wish the best for Lisa and Fister. I don't want to say if anything goes wrong between them that I will still be available, but I'm pretty sure it will be that way. I'm gonna go head to my bed for a while now. Goodnite world.

Game Over

I lost.

Back In Cape

Spent the weekend with JHeet and BMac, had a damn good time. Does McCoskrie sound like a German name to anyone out there? LoL, inside joke. But if you ask I will let you in. So here I am in my dorm room. Know what I'm doing? I'll tell you.

It might seem kind of sad, but I'm waiting to talk to Lisa. Yep. I had some time this weekend to think, which always leads the same direction: to Lisa. I want to see how SETC went, tell her about my weekend. Just chat.

Do I still love her? Yes. Does she love me? Dunno. But I'm patient, I can wait to find out. Spring break comes up this weekend. None of my friends at home will be off. Beautiful. Anyway I just lost any drive to continue typing, so I might start up again later.

You Might Find The Night Time The Right Time For Kissing

Well it's true...you might.

Home For The Weekend

Stuff just seems weird, tho. Apparently my dad saw it fit to blow the cash requisit to purchase me a Fossil watch. Suprised the fuck out of me. Went to Daja Vu tonite and saw a couple of comedians, had a good time. Tomo at nine I head with BMac and JHeet to SMS for the day. No idea as to what we're gonna be doing, but I guess we'll find out. Won't have access to a video camera anymore. I'm kind of bummed about that. But I will make due, I've learned to make due despite disappointment. For now, though, Carnivale.

Sarah Michelle Gellar Is A Pair Of Crotchless Panties

T-1 day to SMS and counting.

On a side note:

I'll be just fine pretending I'm not. I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got.

Question

How does The Simple Life keep getting picked up for more seasons?

A Couple Of Fuckered Up Links

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/284403p-243554c.html

http://www.plsthx.com/disp.php?type=m&id=224

This Weekend To SMS

This weekend I go to SMS to hang with JHeet for his birthday. I'm gonna try to get a video camera so we can "capture the magic." Lisa and the theatre kids left for NC this morning, safe travels and a good trip to them. I'm hungry now...so I'm done.

inner thoughts

There is nothing in this world for me now.

Revalations of the lame variety

College is just like high school, only now there's more people and you can't just go home if you feel like avoiding them after class.

Daddy, what that's noise?

Well son, that's the sound of poorly planned escape routes and the fear of being sodomized. Want to hear a bedtime story?