According to Out Cold

It should be one week. Maybe even less.

Wasn't true last time...won't be true this time. I just don't roll like most guys.

Hmph

You know, in 20 years, i've broken both the bones in my wrist, fractured my elbow, recieved countless minor concussions, broken both my thumbs, removed roughly half the skin off my back, been tazered, maced, shot with a rubber bullet and generally just knocked the fuck out...but none of them hurt as bad as it did when she said "but..."

Mondays Suck

I have played the Broken Up song. Slow were the notes, delberate the plucking, meloncholy the tune. The notes flowed well, the chords sang out as exactly as they should have, and at the same time silenced just as well. The chords filled the space around me, filled the air. They could not, however, fill the holes inside my heart.

Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?

It's like it's some kind of sick game where I don't know the rules and always end up the LOSER.

I miss her already.

Shit...

Jordy is 20 today. 20. Twenty. Shit.

Which means in like 2 weeks JHeet will be 20.

Which will mean in like 2 weeks I'll be 20.

I don't know if I'm ready for that...

I don't know if I'm ready for anything anymore.


I'm lonely right now.

Clean Shaven

This weekend has been an unusual one. One of weird thoughts, weird realizations, weird feelings. I'm sure most of them aren't legit, just some kind of inferiority complex kicking in or something. I blame the weather, it has been extra shite lately. I can't wait for the warm.

I've been in a kind of funk all weekend. Especially today, everything seems to be in a haze. Foggy, really.

I had a gun pointed at me Friday night.

Weird dreams since then.

Finally, something intersting comes outta Facebook

Taken from the page of a one Gary "Garebear" Smith, of SEMO:

"You aren't going to be her 1st, her last, or her only... she’s loved before; she will love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you're not either. If she can make you laugh and if she admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can. She’s not going to be thinking about you every moment of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows YOU can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad and miss her when she’s not there. Because perfect girls don't exist, but there's always ONE girl that is perfect for you."

Deep.

On People from Louisianna....

If Trading Spouces has taught me anything, it is this:

White bitches are crazy.

We page party guy, he pages us back with the number where he's at. We let the phone ring 'till party guy picks it up and says, "Behind Burger King." "Should we go on a run, the fake says we're 21. Do you think they have enough, should we go buy more stuff?" "Forget about the stuff they've got more than enough, they've thought of everything."

He says,

"They've got more beer than we've ever seen, and they've got girls on trampolines. They've tapped kegs since 9:15, and they've got girls on trampolines."

Quoth the party guy, he doesn't ever lie. It sounds like our scene, but we don't have a ride. So we call ride by who comes by in a fly; we climb into his ride.

And drunk guy tells ride guy to "Shut up and just drive!" when he asks him about the stuff and about the thing, but nice guy kicks drunk guy and tells ride guy that part guy said "Party time behind Burger King.

He said,

They've got more beer than he's ever seen, and they've got girls on trampolines. They've tapped kegs since 9:15, and they've got girls on trampolines!"


But nice guy's talk of trampolines makes drunk guy turn green, and he pukes on Jon Fees and ride guy's ride hits a tree, which causes weed guy to drop his seeds at the feet of officer 1, officer 2, and officer3.

And officer 1 says,

"Lookee here, son, I hate speeding MIPs who have seeds and hit trees." 1 and 2 wanna beat 'em, and kill 'em, and eat 'em, but defer to officer 3.

Who says,

"I hear there's a shindig behind Burger King, and I hear there's girls on trampolines. The tree looks fine and the driver's clean, so give them girls on trampolines."

God Bless the wisdom of Officer 3, just give them girls on trampolines!

This just in....

A genious idea from the good people at Joe and Monkey:

If I had a dog, I would name him Roland Rawhide. That way I could call him by singing

"ROLAND ROLAND ROLAND! MY DOG'S NAME IS ROLAND! ROLAND ROLAND ROLAND! RAWHIDE!"

Yea.

So Cold...

...and not getting any warmer...

Things I did this weekend that may or may not be interesting:

1. Slept
2. Had fucked up dreams of blackness.
3. Got a wicked bad migraine and got sick.
4. Became an official minister of the Temple of the Earth
5. Officially renounced my beliefs and connections with the Temple of the Earth.
6. Began to hone my fusion art skills.
7. Began to design the sleeves I want tattooed.
8. Stopped a rape.
9. Failed to play City of Heroes with JHeet and Zach.
10. Left a very unpleasant message to the people in tech support.
11. Went to the House of Love party dressed as a Mexican thug.
12. Found out everyone but Houston, Nia, Frazer, Donny and his bro, Rissa, Connel, and the residents of the house decided to go to Tony and Pete's for Pete's birthday.
13. Almost drank. Never got up the inclination to bend over and pick up the beer out of the box by Frazer.
14. Pissed off the McDonald's employees by ordering 4 double cheeseburgers, 3 cheeseburgers, and a medium Coke at 1 in the morning.
15. Lied awake in bed until about 4:30 a.m.
16. Found out that no place in Cape, including the town library, has a copy of the New York Times today.
17. Discovered that the city library smells of death and the elderly.
18. Wrote a song.

Good times.

I come from a small town.

Sad to say I was raised in this small town...

Friday Night

Chillin' in me dorm room with Greg. Watchin' Wondershowzen. It's important to be patient.

Lisa and Rae went back to Fulton today. I organized some things. Last nite I got all my art supplies organized. Today I got all the various materials on my comp organized. It feels good.

Patience.

I had a wicked bad migraine tonite around seven. Thought I was gonna blow chunks. Instead I just passed out for about an hour and a half. Woke up a little groggy, but otherwise OK. Because of this, however, I didn't go work on my painting in the studio. I will have to wake up tomo morning and do that.

Maybe.

Dick Dick Dickin' Around

On the INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was a fun little song I wrote for you. Love it.

I don't feel well. It feels all crampy inside, like death climbed down my gullet and is laying nazi eggs in my small intestine, which by the way is far too small for nazi eggs.

I have plans to play CoX with Zach and JHeet Saturday at 1. This will depend greatly on whether or not my account is back up by then. Fucking Callaway Bank.

My mom's birthday was today. She is...42 I think? I called her, but she could tell I was tired and not feeling well so she let me go and told me to go to bed.

Lisa is heading home this weekend. As is Rae. I wish I could accompany them, but I will be spending my weekend in the painting studio. w00t w00t, or something. As long as I can knock it out and get a decent grade without going stone cold crazy.

I wish it was warm. Upper 70's/ lower 80s. I want to go out and soulcarve, I miss it.

Also happy birthday to Jon, and I believe Mrs. Curtis's is comming up as well. So happy birthday to her, too.